Need a hug.

Nathan saw me crying today.  At first he saw me wipe my face, and thought I was playing peek-a-boo.  Then I bent down and asked him for a hug, and he put on his stony face that he does when he is studying something.  He reached out and touched a tear, looked at it on his finger and then tasted it!  It was such a sweet moment, and yes, he did give me a hug.  He is a very huggable boy.  I think he didn't know what to make of it.

Well, I thought I wanted to blog about this, but I guess I'm not ready.  This is why blogging isn't working out for me.  I used to be a journal-er, but it hasn't transferred over to blogging.  Enough to say that I will be all right, and that God has me in his hands.

Toddler Muesli

Nathan has been sick for what seems like forever.  Really its been about 10 days of events.  First he had a reaction of hives to a vaccine.  Then after a trip to the doctor and Benadryl, that cleared up but he came down with a fever and wouldn't eat.  The doctor thought it was unrelated and probably the stomach flu.  This involved LOTS of laying on Mommy time.  So after a few days of that - poor kid - he appeared better, but had tiny dots all over his body!  The rash was apparently the virus in its last stages but not contagious or bothersome to him, I guess.  I called the doctor again and that is what she told me.  Finally, today he was eating better, and the rash was mostly faded.  He ate oatmeal, yogurt, grapes, cheese, graham cracker, and dinner!

This evening I picked up a Baby recipe book that I bought about a year ago.  I was so ambitious then.  Now I look at the recipes for the toddler age group, and I think, "Good grief.  That is so much work."  Not to mention the out-there healthy ingredients that I have never seen at the store.  For instance, the author suggests making ghee - clarified butter instead of regular butter.  (Roll of the eyes.)  I'm to find adzuki and mung beans, buy tahini and soba, use almond goat soy or oat milk, find unsulfured apricots, and cook all my grains like quinoa and millet (which I do have) with kombu, a kind of healthy seaweed.  Yeah...

But I do feel like I may be offering him too much dairy, and not enough vegetables.  Tonight he ate brown rice and black beans!  (That's the Puerto Rican blood showing.)  And for awhile I was continuing to buy baby food vegetables because he would eat those.  So it is good to look at all the other recipes in the book, and get ideas.

So tomorrow I think I am going to make a baked custard or Toddler muesli.  Here's the recipe for the latter:

1 cup of long cook oatmeal flakes soaked overnight with a splash of natural orange or apple juice
1/4 cup dried raisins, diced
4 dried apricots, diced
1 tbsp ground almonds or sunflower seeds
1/3 cup apple washed peeled cored and diced

In the morning, mix with 1/4 cup yogurt and serve


Or you can cook soaked oat mixture with water, boil, then summer for about 20 minutes.  When cooled, mix with yogurt and serve.  


So, that seems easy enough, if I do it tonight.  I don't have ground almonds on hand, though, so we'll have to do without.  How about flaxseed?  That sounds pretty healthy, right?  We'll see!

Wake Me Up When September Ends

So, today is the 29th.  The song "Wake me up when September ends" always runs through my mind this time of year.  It has been three years since that day - horrible haunting day - the day my brothers died in a car accident.  Two years ago, we drove to Michigan and were with my family.  My parents house was dedicated, and we also went to the grave site.  One year ago, I wanted to do something, and not have this day pass like any other.  Jon surprised me by taking the day off of work and we drove to the mountains with our three month old baby and picked apples.  It was peaceful driving through the mountains, and a good day.  Jon asked me if I wanted him to take the day off again this year, and I said no.  It feels different.  I still do not want this day to be like every other day, and I wish I could be in Michigan again, but... I don't know how to explain it.  I didn't need him to be home with me today, I guess.  I didn't want him to waste a day off.

So, I decided to visit the Iraqi family I made friends with more than a year ago.  This was the third time I've seen them recently, and before that it had been months.  Our church started a new series called the Gospel in Life, and the first sermon talked about being involved in the city, and praying for it.  I remembered this family that World Relief had put me in contact with when I was tutoring English.  After that sermon, I called them up and have been bringing them diapers, some of Nathan's outgrown clothes, and today a great book that I found at Kohls.  I struggle with being selfish with my time, and so sometimes it is hard for me to find the motivation to call them.  The visits are never short, and because of their still limited English, conversation is rather limited.  But it was good to give of my time today, and a little bit of our money on gifts.  Jon has such a generous spirit, and it is good to learn from him.  He encouraged me this morning when I told him I was thinking of calling the family.

And it went really well!  They told me about their classes, asked about my family, and we looked through the book I gave them - a colorful board book with 100 words.  It's meant for babies, really, but the mom was happy to try to say the words too.  They had me try some Arabic words for the animals, and we had a good time.  The second time they asked "How are you,"  I told them that I was a little bit sad today.  I had told them before about my brothers, and I said that today it was three years since my brothers had died.  They were very empathetic and talked about their 5 year old son who had been killed in Iraq.  The dad has a brain injury where he was shot in the head - I believe at the same time his son was killed.  For our limited conversation abilities, it was a touching time for me.  It was good to just be with people - and to give my time a bit.

The day is only half over, and I don't know what I will do with the rest.  It is supposed to storm this afternoon, or I would take Nathan to the park again.  It is still a dreary day, but the Lord is being good to me today.

Shepherding A Child's Heart

I've been reading Shepherding a Child's Heart, recently, and taking notes.  Here are some things I've written down. Suggestions?

I now see that I need to correct his rebellious heart, but am not sure how to communicate with a one-year-old.   The spanking I do is in response to his clear rebellion – when he does the opposite of what I told him.  He now is a pro at arching his back, crying out angrily and falling to the ground when he doesn’t get his way.  He’s learned to be a bit more careful than when he started, because he used to slam his head on the floor more often.  Now he sometimes lowers his head to the ground carefully before resuming the fit.   What I don’t know is what to do when he does this when he is just disappointed that he didn’t get something.  He’s not rebelling against a direct order, but just expressing his anger and disappointment.  Is that spanking worthy?

Which of the unbiblical methods above have you seen yourself use?  Can you think of any other common unbiblical approaches to discipline and correction?

Well, I guess I have used a punitive approach a few times when I put Nathan in a time-out in his crib.  Sometimes he just can’t handle anything, and so I put him there to get a grip.  Sometimes that means he needs a nap, and sometimes it means he just needs to chill out without an audience.

I spank him now, but I don’t always find a way to tie it into how he must submit to God’s authority.  This morning after a fit, I spanked him and then said something like this:  “Mommy said ‘no hitting the glass door’ and you did it anyway.  That was wrong and Mommy had to spank you [hug]…because God put me in authority [he wanders under the kitchen table]… and you must learn to listen [he picks up a toy and brings it to me]…and I’m glad we had this conversation.  It was meaningful.”  I don’t think this approach is entirely helpful so far.

What changes would you have to make in your conversational style if you were going to have a conversation like the second example about the new sneakers?

Well, conversation is limited because he only knows a few words.  However, at MOMS nursery this week, I tried to do some of this with the three-year-olds.  One boy was playing with a group of boys and another new boy walked in.  I asked the new boy, Austin, what he wanted to play with and he pointed to an unused truck.  Andrew took it immediately after Austin made his intention known, and then looked at him and said, “You’re not one of us.”  I said, “Andrew, how do you think you would feel if someone told you that you could not play with them because you were not one of them?  Sad?”  Andrew impishly said, “No, I wouldn’t feel sad.”  I countered, “I think you would.  You need to think of others feelings too.”  But it was a busy room with lots of kids.  Conversation was lost amid the activity, and he wasn’t my kid anyway.  But I guess I should have started out with asking questions that got to his heart before appealing to any emotions.  Like, “Did it make you feel powerful, or good to say that he could not play with you?” or “Did telling him that he could not play with you make you feel better?” or “Were you concerned that you would not have toys to play with if he played with a truck that was not being used?”

Movies I Hate

This last weekend, I found a strange bug on the sliding door on the inside.  It was pale, had a design on its back, and a very small head.  I wondered if it was a tick, as I had only seen one once before.  Jon came and looked and said it might be, but he had never seen one that wasn't brown.  Uncharacteristically of him with bugs, he put his finger toward the bug.  It responded by sticking out a long needle like tongue as his finger got close.  It seemed like it was a long as its body! It stuck like a barb for a second to the tip of his finger.  Whoa!  It was horrifying!  Jon said he hoped he would not have nightmares about it.  We picked it up with a tissue, flushed it down the toilet, and then did research about what to do about ticks.  Because, for certain, Nathan is going to get one eventually.  Creepy little things.


But that's not what has been bothering me the last two nights.  It's this movie that I would highly NOT recommend, called The Road.  I knew when I saw the preview that I didn't want to see it, but Jon got it from the Redbox, and was watching it.  I should have walked away when at the beginning it said the earth was dying, no vegetation or animals were alive anymore, and the days were getting grayer and colder.  People were soulless, cannibals, and hopeless.  I watched for 40 minutes, then went to bed unable to fight the cloud of sheer hopelessness.  Jon stopped the movie and came to speak truth to me, which helped.  But the next day was depressing even though the sun shone.  I read my Bible, watched a happy movie, Leap Year (which is clean, by the way).  And the day slowly got better.  


I wanted to know the ending, even though I didn't want to see it, and I'm glad I didn't.  It ended like I thought - death, although there was apparently a spark of hope, although still certain starvation.  I also read that it was based on an award-winning book that was also on the Oprah's Book Club list, and that made me want to vent, hence this blog post.  


Why would I want to watch or read such crap?  I've noticed this before with a few other Oprah books - the worst traits of humanity displayed in a pointless parade of despicable behavior.  THIS is exactly why I prefer children's literature.  Children's books will sometimes deal with difficult topics, but find resolution, beauty, and life in the end.  


This joins a list of movies that bother me, sometimes for weeks: I Am Legend, The Happening, Carriers.  I need to avoid apocalyptic movies, or ones with worldwide disease.  I could psychoanalyze this, or theologically analyze this - but I think I won't.  There are enough bad things (like creepy ticks), in the world.  I don't need to watch them on the screen.

Waa-Aaa!

Nathan woke up at 4:30 this morning.  He wanted to nurse and go back to sleep.  However, when the whole cry-it-out sleep-through-the-night thing was established I made 5 in the morning the earliest I would nurse.  If he woke up before then, he stayed in the crib and got a sippy cup of water.  Most nights he wakes up at around 5 or 5:30.  But then he goes through cycles of waking up a little earlier and a little earlier.  I know he can't tell time, but his body's internal clock is testing my resolve.

So I let him cry, offered him the sippy cup, and he laid down in deep disappointment when I didn't pick him up.  He was falling asleep, when I crept toward the door.  Our floor upstairs has some terrible creeks!  He woke up full blast mad as I slipped through the doorway.  I let him cry for awhile and repeated this process.  I know that he didn't actually need anything.  So at 5:30, I finally nursed him, and he was out like a light.  And up for good at 6:30.

And he has been so clingy!  The last week or so, he has cried these long loud cries if I am not holding him (while standing).  So he's been crying quite a bit, because I won't and can't hold him that much.  And by the time Jon comes home, and Nathan is crying on my leg as I cook dinner, I'm ready to climb walls!  When Jon walked in the door yesterday, Nathan quit crying, crawled over to him and Jon picked him up.  He was as pleasant and happy as could be so Jon couldn't understand what I meant by him "crying all afternoon."

Teething?  Who knows.  That always seems to be the question, but rarely turns out to be the cause.  Okay, and appropriately, he is crying at my knee as I type this wanting me.  Got to go.

Wordless Wednesday